How to Find Your Motivation (Define Your Why)

Motivation is funny - when it’s high, you probably feel like you can take over the world. We’re high energy, excited about the future, putting together plans to accomplish our goals, and optimistic even in the face of challenges. But what about when that motivation dips? Nowhere to be found, we’re tired, low-energy, and uninspired by prospects that previously had us beaming. 

At a physiological level, women's hormones can have a big impact due to the 30-day hormonal cycle we experience vs the 24-hour cycle that men experience. But from a goals perspective, relying solely on our hormone and motivation levels to keep us consistent and focused is like burning a candle till the wax is completely melted. At a certain point, the flame will go out. When contemplating larger goals such as weight loss, consistency in habits is the number one most important indicator of short and long-term success. We don’t have to keep sprinting at full speed each day, but we do have to keep moving in order to finish the race, begging the question, what is stronger than motivation? The answer: define your why to cultivate motivation for any situation. 

What is Why

To begin, understand that your why is meant to help you find your motivation on your toughest days. Make no mistake, at certain times of the month napping should be considered a hobby in of itself. While we are big proponents of listening closely to our bodies’ needs and responding appropriately, there are many other times in the behavior change journey of goal and habit formation that we argue with ourselves over what we want to do vs what we should do. It’s in these moments that motivation may fail us; in order to create consistency, we need to dig deeper and utilize our why to create internal motivation to pull us forward. That’s your why - it’s that reason for change that surpasses any internal dialogue to stay the same; that reason that pulls you forward even in the most difficult moments when you feel like giving up or staying on the couch. It goes deeper than the superficial and forces you to dive under the surface. It’s the reason that says: this time will be different. 

Define Your Why, Then go Deeper

When posed with the question “what is your why?” you probably have something pop into your head immediately. It’s for my kids, you say. But what does that actually mean? Defining your why cannot start and end with that simple question - you must push yourself further. Argue back with yourself using logic and facts - this is for my kids, but does that really help me change my actions in the moment when I need it to?

If we are being honest with ourselves, many times the answer is no. It’s easy to get stuck in the perpetual cycle of “tomorrow,” and although a why like being there for your kids is both true and morally sophisticated, for many, it doesn’t change a thing. Why? Because you’re already there for your kids right now. Going to the gym to reach your workout goals will not help you be any more there for your kids than you already are, in fact - one could argue it’s actually taking time away from them in the immediate moment! And although we’re focusing on kids in this example, many first-attempt surface-level whys are applicable here.

Here’s another example: my why is to help maintain my mental health. Not bad, right? But when push comes to shove, will this change your behavior in the moment when it matters or when you’re feeling most “over it” and ready to blow off the habits you know are important? Here’s how we can go deeper and make that more impactful: my mental health has suffered in recent years. As a result, working out is a preventative measure I take daily (just like medicine) to maintain a happy and healthy mental, emotional, and physical state. It’s part of my personal care plan and if I miss more than 3 days in a row, I immediately notice lower energy, productivity, & mood levels.

The Ingredients to a Strong Why

A strong why should have both meaning and urgency. If it has meaning, but no urgency (like in the example with the kids), it will be easy to push off to tomorrow. If it has urgency, but no real meaning, you will be setting yourself up for non-sustainability and inconsistency (like fad-dieting). Both ingredients are essential and the importance of this planning process prior to attempting to create a new habit cannot be emphasized enough. Once you have your strong why, start marketing it to yourself daily. Set it as your phone background, create alarms with custom labels of your why, write it down daily when journaling, or tell a friend or family member for more accountability - whatever works for you. 

Journal It Out

When devising your why, the message remains the same - you must push yourself to go deeper. Additionally, if there is no consequence attached to skipping out on your goals, it will be easy to continuously push them off towards tomorrow. Here are a few questions you can use to fine tune your most effective why. We recommend journaling these out!

• What’s the point of ( _____ goal)?

• What difference does ( _____ goal) make?

• Will ( _____ why) help me change the behavior in the moment? If not, what will?

• Is there a shorter-term negative consequence I get from not completing ( _____ goal)? 

• Does giving into what I’m trying to avoid cause a certain consequence or negative experience?

• Do I care about ( _____ goal) in the first place?

• If not, how can I rewrite my goal to make it more meaningful?

• Then back to the top, why is that goal important?

• Does this revised why convey both meaning and urgency?

Be reminded that behavior change is hard - that’s normal and it’s supposed to be. If it were easy, it wouldn’t have as much meaning. Your self-talk is critical as well - remind yourself that not everyday will be perfect, the road is not linear, and your individual choices matter. Showing up is a choice, and digging deeper on your why will help make the tougher moments easier.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this post is for informational purposes only. Any changes to your nutrition & health should be supervised by a registered dietitian or physician.